Today, God put me in a situation that to this very moment, I remain awestruck and in indescribable disbelief. I remember every single detail - the fear I had going into what God had called me to do, and the courage He granted me to follow His calling. I pray that a life was saved today.

Let me begin this story from the top.

I met up with a few of my friends downtown to study together. We studied until almost 9 pm when our other friend came to visit us after he finished work. We decided to go eat dinner together. We walked around aimlessly looking for a restaurant, and after a good 15 mins, decided on Popeyes. After we took our seat, we realized that the store was going to close in half an hour, and knew that we didn't have enough time to finish our food, so we left. We looked around for a little longer, and decided to eat at Pizza Nova a few blocks down the street. It was a rather quiet restaurant, and very few people came in and out to buy food at that hour. We were enjoying our meal when suddenly a man walked in.

He was wearing very dark baggy clothes, and a cap, and he looked very intimidating. He came up to us and asked us to spare him fifty cents so he could buy a pizza. My friend said that none of us carried change. However, it turns out that he did have money to buy food. There was some disagreement going on with the store owner and that man, and eventually, after he bought his pizza, he took a seat by himself. My friends and I were very scared; we didn't know where this man came from, and were worried he might do something. The man kept his head down, and he called the store owner and asked him to call the ambulance. He said that he was hurt, and he wanted to go to the hospital. The next phrase he said struck me the most - he said that he wanted to commit suicide.

My body just froze. I was speechless and my heart clenched. I was overcome with a tingling feeling and I felt extremely extremely uneasy. My friends wanted to leave, but I couldn't get myself to move. I thought to myself... this man is at an extremely low point in his life - to the extent that he was considering ending his own life. I felt that God is calling me to talk to him and to reach out to this man. Even though I was scared, God helped me muster up the courage to approach him. I asked him if he would like something to drink, that I could get some water for him. He looked at me, handed me some change and said yes please. I asked the store owner for some water, and he gave it to me without cost and I handed the man, whose name is Ricky, his water. He said, 'Thank you very much. God bless you.'

I asked him, 'Are you doing okay?' He looks down and he says no. He said that he had been going through so much suffering, and he does not want to live. I went to my backpack and I took out an extra copy of the bible I had which I always carry around with me. I took a seat across from him. I don't know what came over me; it was not me who was speaking, but the Spirit guiding my every step, speaking through me his very words. I asked him directly, 'Are you a believer in Jesus Christ?' He looked at me square in the eye and said firmly 'Yes I am.' Ricky began to share with me bits of his life. He said that God has helped him through so much, He has helped him through so many trials and dead ends. He admitted being engulfed with sin, succumbing to severe alcoholism, drugs, and sex. He talked about other people going after him, trying to kill him, being involved with gangs. He experienced a number of shootings and survived more than 4 near-death experiences. Ricky said he was tired; he wanted to get out of everything he got himself in, and he says it hurts, and he doesn't want to go through this suffering any longer.

My heart sank because I could sense his pain. I could feel his brokenness and when I looked into his eyes, and I could see such immense sadness when he looked straight back at me. I couldn't hold back my tears as I talked to him because I know God's heart is broken because of Ricky. I reminded him that God loves him - that God knows everything about him - exactly what he is going through and how he feels; his every thoughts and needs. And when I gave him the bible, I asked him to please take time to talk to God - to lift up all of his burdens to God and to repent. I emphasized that God is love and He is forgiving. He will not only forgive your sins, but He will help you overcome them if you seek Him with all your heart. I said 'you must hold on to this living hope and not let go. You must have faith. Have faith! And know that God is filled with love for you. It hurts Him so much to see you like this.' Though things are difficult at the moment, he will never give you more than you can handle. Hang on and set your heart on Him for He will never forsake you nor will He leave you behind. He wants you to desire Him.

Ricky told me to look at him straight in the eye and he declared, 'You know what? It is because you have told me to have faith, that I will now hold onto this faith!' I remember this line so clearly and I continue to thank God so much for using me as His vessel to reach out to His beloved children.

Ricky said that it was so very hard. He just wants the suffering to stop. He said that he had come from a very violent  background, but he wanted to escape everything that's binding him and holding him down. He recognizes that he is a son of God, and he questions sometimes why God is putting him through so much suffering. I replied that it is because God wants to build you up and He wants you to turn to Him. God knows exactly the pain you are going through. For Jesus paid the ultimate price by suffering an excruciating death on the cross when He was crucified... that is how much He loves you! I pray that Ricky would come to truly know this.

Soon, the police came. The store owner called the police to handle the situation. Ricky was not very happy about it, but he was cooperative. I had to leave my seat and let the officers do their job. I packed my belongings, and my friends, who were waiting for me, urged me to go. Initially, I found myself standing planted where I was and just observing. Tears rolled down my face and I couldn't control it. I knew he was so broken and lost - he needs God now more than ever.

When I left the store, I began to pray for him and asked for God to come down and fill him with His love; that He would deliver him from his situation and for him to continue hanging onto this living hope.
I thought about what  happened tonight and I realized that everything was purely by God's work. Of all the places I could have gone to for dinner, God directed me into Pizza Nova, and He made our paths cross. He completely stirred up my heart, and called me to talk to Ricky, and by His doing, granted me courage to stand up and act upon His calling against my own fear. It really wasn't me, but the Spirit guiding my every step of the way.

I am completely amazed at what took place tonight, and at God's mighty work. It was an experience that was so real; the heaviness I felt, the pain I could imagine, and the sadness I could see - God had used to me share His love to his child in order that Ricky might have hope to stand firm against the devil's schemes.

I know that everything is now in God's hands, and I pray that Ricky's suicidal thoughts would vanquish and that he be touched by the loving and saving grace of God so that he would be cleansed and be made new again.

On this Thanksgiving Day, I have so much to be thankful for. I cannot believe that it has already been one year since my baptism. I don't even know where to begin to describe all that the Lord has done in my life since then.

My baptism was a highlight of my life. I remember that day so vividly as if it happened yesterday. When I was up at the podium delivering my testimony, I saw my family watching me from the benches. I poured out everything - all my past, all the things I've built up inside through the years, and I couldn't stop crying. I let go of everything, and I felt the presence of the Lord so strongly. For the first time in my life, I felt free. I felt as if all the weight and burden on my shoulders was lifted from me. And as I glanced at my family, I saw tears down their faces. I felt the greatest peace in my heart than I ever felt before. It was an unforgettable moment that words cannot fully express.

A year after, I reflect on the things God has done in my life. There are so many ways that He has changed me - the way that I think, the person that I am now. I am amazed when I think back to the person I was a year ago. A young adult who was constantly worried about everything - who lacked faith and trust, who set her thoughts on worldly things. I know He is working in my family, and in myself - He is transforming the way I am. God has revealed new things to me, and has given me a passion to outreach, and make His name known. I never thought that this would be possible, and yet God has performed miracles in my life - lessons He taught me which I will hold close, reminders of where my focus lies, comfort in knowing that He will never forsake me. I am filled with joy to say that I am made new!

Thank God for His unfailing love, for everything that He has blessed me with, and for the journey ahead that He will walk with me side by side against all storms.

As I near move-in day, I think back to the experiences I've had this summer; Good times, bad times, fun times, stressful times.
What's important for me now is time with family. But it feels like it's running out so fast... and there's still more I want to do...

One of my most favourite things to do is visit my grandma. She never fails to make me laugh. I saw her today, and we had some very good discussions about tons of stuff. She is an inspiration and a constant support for me. We share a lot of things, but she forgets them in the end. She is aging, and it breaks my heart...

My father locked us out of the car today. At the moment, it really was not a pretty scene. We were carrying boxes of kitchen supplies to the car, and my dad manually opened the trunk with the key. He left it accidentally in the box and shut the trunk. We tried paper clips, bobby pins, sticks, clothes hangers - it does not work. Car locks are different than doors. He had to go back all the way home which was a good 30-40 min drive, retrieve an extra key, and come back. On the bright side, it gave me more time with my grandma.

I'm leaving in a week. It is definitely bittersweet this time round. There are so many things I don't understand. I feel like I need more time...
I have so many worries, but I lift them all up to you dear God.